Happiness Is Not the Absence of Negativity: A Guest Blogpost by Phil Januszewski
Too many of us believe that happiness is what’s left after we subtract the negatives; painful tasks, draining people, or stressful situations. If we just cut those things out, then finally, FINALLY, happiness will arrive.
But here’s the truth: eliminating negativity doesn’t create happiness, it just gets us closer to neutral. And neutral is not flourishing. Neutral is not joy. Neutral is not fulfillment.
The Covid Lesson: Joy Can Coexist With Struggle
Living through the 2020 Covid lockdowns, you remember the uncertainty and fear. I certainly do. I could have sat glued to the news all day, spiraling in worry. But I chose differently.
I followed the guidance of medical professionals—and then I turned my attention to creating happiness right where I was, inside the walls of my own home.
My wife, my two kids (then 8 and 5), and I got intentional. We raided our closets and threw on old Halloween costumes, turning the kitchen into a Monster Mash party. We set up a green screen in the basement and staged silly photo shoots for family. We drank piña coladas by a makeshift bathtub “beach.”
The world outside was heavy, but inside we found ways to laugh, connect, and play. That joy didn’t come from removing negativity. It came from choosing to create happiness despite it.
Why Struggle Is the Secret Ingredient
Psychology research reminds us that discomfort is not always the enemy, it often can be the spark. Ice baths (not my thing, for the record…this tattooed, weightlifting guy prefers hot tubs with Christmas carols and hot chocolate) are one example. The sting of cold water is followed by a flood of dopamine and relief.
Strangely, without the struggle, we wouldn’t experience joy as much.
I’ve seen this in my own family. My father has battled leukemia, and hospital visits are filled with uncertainty and worry. Yet, sitting with him in those waiting rooms, joking, sharing small stories; that’s happiness. That’s love. It’s the contrast of pain that makes those simple moments so meaningful.
The Workplace Isn’t Exempt
This truth carries over to our work lives, too. During my 20-year career as a high school chemistry and physics teacher, I sometimes hit the doldrums. Classes ran smoothly, students succeeded, and stress was minimal; yet I felt… blah.
It wasn’t until I was thrown into a completely new challenge; like teaching English Language Learner science classes that things shifted. Suddenly, I was co-teaching, navigating new cultures, adapting to language barriers, and learning in real-time.
It was uncomfortable. It was frustrating. And it was exactly what I needed.
That challenge brought growth, deeper empathy, and a renewed passion for my work. It wasn’t the absence of stress that made me fulfilled, it was leaning into it.
Neutral Isn’t Enough
We all dream of calm waters by a beach (though I like pools…hard pass on gritty sand for me!). But calm without the waves of challenge becomes uninspiring. Our brains adapt quickly to the status quo (the “hedonic treadmill”), and what once felt good soon feels flat and simply normal.
The good news? Happiness isn’t something we wait for after the storm clears, it’s something we create in the middle of it. Through growth. Through connection. Through intentional action. We can grab our umbrella and make it happen.
Choosing Happiness
No one is coming to hand out happiness. It’s on us to choose it, even when negativity lingers. Especially when negativity lingers.
That choice to create joy, meaning, and fulfillment is what keeps us from a life that is tired and uninspired.
My super positive self is not for everyone, but I’m always going to choose happy. And I invite you to do the same.
Final Thought
If your workplace, team, or organization is ready to move beyond burnout and rediscover energy, purpose, and happiness, that’s exactly the mission behind my keynote talks and workshops. I don’t just share research-backed strategies, I deliver them with energy, humor, and storytelling that sticks.
Let’s connect: www.PhilJanuszewki.com
Phil Januszewski
Speaker•Teacher•Creator
Phil@PositiveGrowthLounge.com