Episode 5: The Teacher As Extreme Cleaning Specialist with Matt Paxton
**Make sure to check out this week’s blogpost with practical ideas for the classroom based on my conversation with Matt
Social Media: @IAmMattPaxton
mylegacylist.com
Transcript:
(transcribed by kayla.r.fainer@gmail.com)
Melissa Milner 00:09
Hi, this is Melissa Milner. Welcome to The Teacher As... podcast. The goal of this weekly podcast is to help you explore your passions and learn from others in education and beyond to better your teaching. The Teacher As... will highlight uncommon parallels to teaching, as well as share practical ideas for the classroom.
In this episode, I was honored to interview Matt Paxton from Hoarders and Legacy List. He is an extreme cleaning specialist and has cleaned some of the worst hoards you can imagine. The Teacher As Extreme Cleaning Specialist is not as far fetched as it sounds. Matt deals with extremely disorganized people who have a disease where they can't let things go and are dealing with major traumatic life events.
He is patient and understanding and can teach us a lot about our work with children. Please enjoy my interview with Matt Paxton. Welcome to The Teacher As..., Matt. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to come talk to me.
Matt Paxton 01:11
Thanks for having me.
Melissa Milner 01:13
Some of The Teacher As... listeners may not be familiar with you or your work. So what would you want them to know about you?
Matt Paxton 01:20
Well, I help people deal with their stuff. I've been cleaning out people's houses for 20 years, whether it be hoarders or seniors that are downsizing, just lived in a house for 50 years. But most people know me from the TV show, Hoarders. I'm the guy that cleans all the really nasty houses out on Hoarders.
Melissa Milner 01:39
So you've done a lot. We're going to get into details about the work you do. But what's one of the proudest moments you've had?
Matt Paxton 01:48
Gosh, I have so many, personally and professionally. Actually, I've been on Hoarders for 12 years now. But I have a new show on PBS called Legacy List with Matt Paxton, and it's about helping people find their history in their home. So someone will say, oh, I want to find my grandma's fur coat. We go find the fur coat, and then they tell us the story about their grandma.
And I had a lady just the other day, a kid came up to me and she goes, boy, I watched your show about my grandma. And she's like, I didn't know my grandma was so cool. And she's like, I'm so proud to be from my grandma. And I didn't know! I just thought my grandma was like an old lady in the corner, you know? And her grandma's looking at me like yeah. Her grandma was amazing. Her grandma was the first African American woman to go to Harvard.
Melissa Milner 02:36
Oh, cool.
Matt Paxton 02:38
And in generations, those stories get lost. And so dumb it down even more, I just love that all my work has helped us understand each other more, and understand each other better, and be a little more compassionate for why we are the way we are. And I just have found in my career, our stuff holds the stories.
But what I'm most proud of is now people are telling their stories again. And part of that is I think we've had time with COVID to sit down and actually visit some of this stuff. But what really makes me the proudest is that people are visiting again, and they're sharing their stories, and they're getting to know their families more. And that's just-- I love it. It makes me so proud.
Melissa Milner 03:15
I can't watch any of your shows without having tissues nearby, because you end up bawling your eyes out.
Matt Paxton 03:22
Yeah, with any of my shows, on Hoarders, it's about a loss. Something bad has happened. And on Legacy List, because of life, they have to go move somewhere else. None of them want to move. They've lived in a house for 30, 40, 50 years.
So nobody wants me in their home. Ever. There's never like, hey, let's call Matt. That'd be fun. But my job is to find the good in it, and make them happy, and bring some joy to it. And I've got the best job in the world. I'm really kind of lucky.
Melissa Milner 03:55
It shows. It shows. You're really, really good at what you do. And you just mentioned some of the qualities. So what qualities or skills does an extreme cleaning specialist have?
Matt Paxton 04:06
Well, no sense of smell would be the first skill. Honestly, compassion is pretty much all you need, compassion and a mask. At the end of the day, this is somebody's grandma. And I've always acted like this is my grandma. And so I work with a lot of stress. And I think your teachers that are listening can probably-- it's easy to be compassionate for 20 minutes. It's not easy to be compassionate the last week of May, two weeks before school's out, right? You've been doing it for a year.
And some kids you just-- some of my clients I love, and it's really easy to be there for them. But some of them are total jerks, and it's really hard to be there for them. And I have to remember, look, I'm here for everybody, not just the nice ones. And then if you dig deeper, you have to remember like, oh, well the reason the one person's being a jerk is because their trauma's even worse. And so what I've started to remember is that the more I don't want to help this person, actually, that's the one that needs my help even more.
Melissa Milner 05:13
Exactly.
Matt Paxton 05:13
And so when someone pushes me away and is really rude to me, that's where I latch on and I hug them more. And I dig in, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna love them to death. They're gonna hate me. And that's fine, because they need it.
Melissa Milner 05:26
So in teaching, the way we say it is, the one who's acting up the most needs the love the most or needs more love. And every behavior is communication. Even if it's a negative behavior, that person is trying to tell you something.
Matt Paxton 05:44
They're telling you something. Absolutely. And so it's very similar. I was raised by a teacher. I don't think that's a surprise to anybody.
Melissa Milner 05:51
No.
Matt Paxton 05:52
My mom was a single mom, and she was a teacher and worked really hard. My job is about communication. It happens to be in really messy houses. I do look at it as an opportunity to really-- I was on Howard Stern many years ago, and a preacher called me, left me a message after I was on Howard Stern. And he goes, that was the filthiest sermon I've ever heard. And I was like, thank you.
And he goes, oh no, it's a compliment. And he goes, you're able to help people that would not necessarily go to church. And he's like, but they see you on TV and they hear you on radio. And he goes, I just want to commend you for doing this. I don't get into faith. It's a large part of my life. But I learned the minute you bring it up, half the audience turns it off. And so I kind of stay away from it.
But for me, no matter what your job is, especially now more than ever, people really, really need positive. If you look at the political standpoint, if you look at the COVID, I mean, we're all just dying for positive interaction. I just look at all this, and I think as we look at what's going to happen in teaching in the next few weeks as people go back, all the time is going to be awful.
And I can point out 100 things on every one of my jobs that are gonna be awful. But I never can pinpoint the good part, what's going to be great. Because that happens naturally on its own if I stay compassionate, and I listen, and I just focus on helping people. And when I do those three things, the good always just naturally comes. And that's the surprise. And that's why we do it.
God knows we don't do this for the money. We could all make more money doing something else probably easier. It's those little moments that just makes it the best thing in the world.
Melissa Milner
When I realized I was gonna have you on the show, I re-read your book. And I thought back to all those Hoarder episodes that my husband and I watched. And every single episode, it always came out that there was some kind of trauma that exacerbated the hoarding tendencies that a person may have already had. Or maybe there's some mental illness on top of it. So how do you help people with this extreme trauma and a disease on top of it?
Matt Paxton
So yeah, you hit it down, but there's trauma, and then there's also just a mental disorder. And a lot of times it's the trauma that caused it all, I think 90% of the time. And that trauma is usually divorce, someone died, abuse, a lot of physical and sexual abuse to be honest. It happened to them when they were 16 and I get them when they're 60. And you think of the amount of trauma that happened there.
I'll tell you, the lady that stuck with me the most, I had a young hoarder 10 years ago. She was 40, really young. Hoarding isn't about age. Hoarding is about life experience, right? The trauma causes it, and you're looking for your happiness and self worth to fix that trauma. And you just happen to be looking for that happiness and so forth in stuff. Some of us look for it in alcohol, or drugs, or exercise, or faith or whatever, good and bad ways to find that support and happiness through trauma. But it's all because of the trauma.
Well, I had one lady, and this example is going to really explain trauma to the best I can tell you. She hoarded just a ton, and she lived in New Orleans and it was after Katrina, 10 years after Katrina. And she said, look, I watched my husband and my son literally get washed away. She was in the attic. They were hanging onto the rafters, and the water washed her son and her husband away.
Melissa Milner 09:19
Oh my gosh.
Matt Paxton 09:20
And she said, the bad part is, Matt, I don't know if they died or if they made it and they chose not to contact me. Think about that. I'm gonna say it again. She said, I don't know if they died or if they made it and they chose not to contact me. She thinks about that 24/7/365 every day now for almost 15 years.
Melissa Milner 09:45
Oh my goodness.
Matt Paxton 09:46
How awful is that, right? Horrible, tragic. And so for me, when I work with these people, I try to say gosh, how can I understand their trauma? I've had a lot of trauma, but not like that, not at all. I lost my dad, my stepdad and both my grandfathers. They died in a two year time period. And so the four men that raised me, I had to clean all their houses out. And I still miss them 20 years later, man. I miss them.
I'm a dad, I've got three boys now, three young boys. And all the time, I wish those men were there to see me be a dad and to meet my boys, and to share stories with them and stuff. But it's not as bad as that lady's trauma. And the point is, I just try to put myself, when I get to work with a client, I really get to know them. And I get to understand their life story. And so it's really easy to be compassionate when you try to put yourself in their shoes.
Now, granted, I don't have 30 kids in the classroom. It's a little harder for a teacher to have that kind of compassion, because you've got 30 people in the audience. I've got one usually, maybe two. So it's a little easier for me. Now I have to turbo bond in about a week. I really only have a week with the family in their home.
So I've got to do all my change in that week. So I've got to get to know them, I've got to earn their trust, I've got to prove that I can help them. Then I've got to inspire them, and then I've got to give them the tools so they can do it themselves when they leave.
Melissa Milner 11:08
And how do you do that, just by listening?
Matt Paxton 11:11
Listening at first, humor is really important. It's one of the most important tool sets in my job. Because when you're that low down, when you're at rock bottom, sympathy and shame are not a tool set to bring somebody out. Rock bottom, you've got to go down there with them, and hold their hand and walk out together. And so I do share a lot.
I'm a recovering addict. I think most people are aware that I had a really bad gambling addiction. I lost everything. I sugarcoat it a little bit in the book, just because it was early in my career. I lost a lot of money. I owed a bookie $40,000, and he beat the crap out of me. And it was a really bad situation.
And people ask me, are you sure you want that story out there now that your kids are grown? And it's like, well, they probably need to hear it. And bottom line, I was a lost, drugs, alcohol. It was really bad. And then I kind of found myself. I was volunteering at a grief camp, believe it or not. It was a grief camp for kids that have lost their parents.
Melissa Milner 12:07
Oh, wow.
Matt Paxton 12:08
It's called Comfort Zone Camp. And I was a volunteer, and I would help these kids that had tragic losses. Like dads were killed in drive by shootings or just really awful losses for young kids. And there we learned the mix of play and fun and sharing your stories in brutal honesty. And so a lot of people say, man, I just love how you tell it like it is.
Well, that's not a characteristic of mine. That's a tool. That's on purpose. I earn your trust, and then I go right at it simply because I don't have a year. I've got a week. So I can't dance around that. So I've got to earn your trust enough so that you know I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm not gonna harm you emotionally. And then when I get your trust, we go right at it.
Melissa Milner 12:51
Right. They have to feel safe and listened to, exactly. But the humor? Absolutely.
Matt Paxton 12:58
And I share all my failures, too. I lead a lot. I mean, that's very strategic. If you ever saw me work, the first two days are off camera. There's no cameras there. And I'm just talking to the family on the phone or in person, and I share my entire story. And so by the time we really start working, they're like, oh, this isn't some TV guy. This is a dude that's really gone through it. And they know that they're in this with a person, not an actor, and my whole crew is there.
And you know, a lot of my guys are ex-cons on my Hoarding crew. They're guys that have done significant time, like 20 plus years. It's strategic. Nobody understands isolation better than a dude that's done 20 years in prison. And they're not going to judge anybody. And so they're really good to work with hoarders. In fact, I've got a couple guys.
If you remember my old podcast, Ronny was one of my best guys. He's become one of the best hoarding cleanup guys in the country. And he was a convicted murderer. He killed the guy, did his 20 years, and came out. And he started working for me, bottom of the barrel. But he can communicate with a hoarder as far as isolation goes deeper than anybody I know. Because he did a year in isolation. A year of his life he sat in a six by eight cell by himself. And so he has experiences of going crazy and the thoughts that you get.
Actually, he's one of the reasons I agreed to spend the night in the houses. People ask me about that all the time. On the TV show, if you've never seen the show, around season six the network goes, we want you to spend the night in the house. And I was like, that sounds like a ratings ploy. They were like, it is, will you do it? And I was like, probably not. I go, it's kind of unethical. And I talked to everybody, and they were just like, no, no, no, therapists and lawyers and all that. And then I told him, I said, there's no amount of money you can pay me. This is wrong.
And then it turns out 20 minutes later, we find out there actually is a specific amount of money you can pay me to make me spend a night in the house. And so I did it. Turns out I thought I knew everything about hoarding. All I knew was in daytime. I didn't know what trauma your brain can go through at night. And so I've totally understand the hoarders now 10 times better. Because I did it seven times, spent the night in the houses. And it was the isolation at night, and your vision's gone.
So all of a sudden, you know that that's a garden hose on your leg. But when it gets 100 degrees at night because the power's not on, and there's no light, you start to think, well, what if that's a snake? Your brain can go to some crazy places if you let it. And I learned that I thought my hoarders went to bed. They don't go to bed.
They're in complete trauma hour after hour after hour after hour after hour. And they never go to bed. It's just one hour segments. And so there's no night, there's no morning, there's no daytime, there's no nighttime. It's just trauma. It's just unbelievable trauma. And spending the night in those houses made me understand that. So to bring it all back, why do I do all this kind of stuff? Well, the more I learn about their trauma, the more I lived in mine, the more I'm able to understand them. And I'm able to communicate and earn their trust a lot faster.
Melissa Milner 16:08
So there's this whole push for trauma sensitive schools, so that there are things in place that will hopefully naturally make kids feel safe. And on top of that, if a kid is acting up, you don't have to find out their whole history. They're acting up. Something's going on. They're communicating, just assume it's trauma and help them. You don't have to wait to get a diagnosis. You don't have to wait to find out their family history. Do what that child needs.
Matt Paxton 16:36
Yeah, they all got pulled out of school last year. And so let's be honest, they've all got trauma. And it's only going to get worse with the not going back this year. I mean, actually, as we're doing this interview, my son just walked in. He's going into his quiet corner that we built.
Temple Paxton 16:52
No, I'm not.
Matt Paxton 16:52
Oh, you're not going in there? Okay. Oh, you're putting your animals in there. So we built a quiet corner that he has in his school, in his kindergarten room.
Temple Paxton 16:54
I was just putting my animals in there. It's not my kindergarten room.
Matt Paxton 17:04
OK, buddy. I have to do this interview. We had to build a space that he felt safe in, and it's from his school.
Temple Paxton 17:12
Mhm.
Matt Paxton 17:12
Yeah, you agree?
Temple Paxton 17:13
Mhm.
Matt Paxton 17:14
So he likes to go there and sit with his stuffed animal and read his book. And it's a calm, quiet corner. It talks about his emotions, and he can identify with different emotions on there. And so for us, we've just all had to get a little more-- I acknowledge the trauma that they're going through. Did my six year old lose his husband and son in a storm? No. But being yanked out of kindergarten from your friends, that is scary, and that is trauma.
But now I do say, look at the positive side of this. He now just comes and goes in and out of my office, and we share my office. It's his quiet corner as well. And we've learned, with the trauma of being out of school, there's also a lot of great things that have happened, too. I've finally found more balance than I've ever had.
I've always worked too much and traveled too much. And when you are not allowed to travel, it's interesting. So I've had to kind of recreate my career a little bit and stay home more. And it's been really interesting, and it's been fun. So the positive is I'm with my kids a lot more.
Melissa Milner 18:19
The other piece that I noticed you and the other professionals that work on, again, specifically Hoarders but actually is for Legacy List, too, is organization. I know there are teachers out there who hoard their classroom materials. Oh, I'll use it someday. I know students that hoard things in their desks. Do you have any recommendations for organization or ways to help teachers help themselves to get more organized?
Matt Paxton 18:51
Dorothy Breininger is the only real organizer on our show. The rest of us are kind of just extreme cleaners. But you've got to remember the teachers, and it's usually the older teachers, they hold on to it because they remember budgets when they've had none, right? And they remember not having supplies. And so you have to remember, the teachers that were teaching in the 90s or in the late 80s, they remember having no supplies.
And also there are a lot, and I don't want to generalize here, but a lot of times, they're holding on to the past because the new technology of teaching is really scary for a lot of people. And it's also how they made their living. I always say, there's a lot of teachers that are single moms.
And I rely on my mom's experience there. My mom still has her lesson plans. My mom hasn't taught in 25 years, and she still has her lesson plans. Because in her mind, she's gonna give them to a new teacher, right? I'm like, Mom, they don't teach on parchment paper anymore. They teach on iPads.
And it's a joke that we do, but for her, all that paper represents that she worked really hard. And she got a degree when women couldn't always get a degree. And she got a job and taught in some pretty aggressively environmental schools. And she taught a lot of good kids, and it was her life. And it's proof that she was kind of a bad ass.
Melissa Milner 20:13
That's awesome.
Matt Paxton 20:14
And so that's why they're holding on to that stuff. It's not because they want to make a messy room. So I'm spending all this time on understanding, because that's how you're going to communicate. You can't go in there like, clean up this mess, especially if there's administrators listening. They came in like, this is disgusting. What's wrong with you?
That's the wrong angle. That's totally right. Because you're telling them that their hard work is pointless. That's what they're hearing. You're saying clean up. They don't hear that. So you have to acknowledge like, hey, man, this stuff's really important to them. And so we have to say, hey, how can we-- I understand you want to save it. And I understand why. And I validate that, that it's real. Validation is so such an important part of communication.
When someone complains, I just say, yeah, I hear you. You're right. But it's not going to work for our environment. So what's our middle point? And so I just bring in like, hey, we need to get rid of 50% of this. Get rid of anything you haven't used in two years. Not one, two, maybe three if it's harder. I mean, God, the younger grades are so hard.
Melissa Milner 21:18
It's a lot of stuff.
Matt Paxton 21:20
It's a lot of stuff. I mean, kindergarten, oh my God, how do you cull through that stuff? One of the tricks I use with my seniors that's great is if you want to keep it, you've got to carry it. What do you mean? And so I sit the chair-- this is a tool I use. It might be good for the teachers. When people come to help me pack up the room, I will set their chair at the opposite end of the room.
And so the sell, and the donate and the trash are right next to their chair. But the keep is all the way down, like 20 feet away. And I put this box at the other end of the room. And I say great, if you want to keep it, you've got to walk over and put it in there yourself. And someone will be like, oh, I've got to have it. I've got to have it. It's the most important thing in the world. I go, great, get up off your butt and walk 20 feet. And they're like, nah, I can donate it.
It sounds funny, but I promise you, it's very effective. Just putting a physical barrier between you and the stuff, you really decide if you really want it. If it's convenient and all I've got to do is put it in a box, of course we want it. But just believe it or not, just 20 feet, it makes a big difference. But also, I'm a big believer in some people are messy, and that's okay. Because don't tell me there's not kids that identify with that. There are kids that feel safer in a mess.
Melissa Milner 22:31
I like to call it organized piles, thank you very much.
Matt Paxton 22:36
Look, paper is the equity of education. All the information is on that paper. And so we're asking you to throw away the thing you've dedicated your life to. It's very hard to do that.
Melissa Milner 22:50
Yeah, and it's even like math manipulatives and cleaning supplies, and there's just so many materials in a classroom. And then if you aren't willing to cull, within one school year, you could have a real mess on your hands. I've had to clean out my room. And I'm not a hoarder, but I'm disorganized. And I've had to clean that thing out, because you get busy and you just put stuff down. And it just becomes a pile.
Matt Paxton 23:21
When report cards come out, go find 10 items you don't need in the room. So four times a year, you're getting rid of pick 10 or 20, pick a very small number that keeps it culled over time versus doing it all in one big swoop. Those report cards are an easy one for us to remember, whenever the grades come out. One nice thing this COVID thing is gonna help us a lot on that, because everything's got to be cleaned now and wiped down.
Melissa Milner 23:48
And digital.
Matt Paxton 23:49
And digital. We're not gonna have as much stuff in the classroom. But good teachers are messy. We'll be really blunt. I mean, it's okay. And it probably not the answer you want, but set expectations a little lower on the cleanliness of the classroom. Can it be a pigsty? No. The kids need to be able to find it. But I can promise you from a trauma perspective, many of your kids are more comfortable in a full room than an empty room.
Melissa Milner 24:17
I've had students who definitely had hoarding tendencies. And they were keeping food in their desk, and they didn't want to throw it out.
Matt Paxton 24:25
So in the nursing homes that I work in, the senior living communities that I work in, the seniors do the same thing. They hold on to the coffee, and the mixers, and the salt and peppers and all the little packets, ketchup packets. And so what that is, is that's actually not hoarding. That's control. They have no control over anything else in their life, and so they control it. It's trauma.
So hoarding behaves a lot like anorexia, believe it or not, very similar. If I can't control anything else in my life, I'm going to control what I don't eat. And I'm not trying to dumb down that disease. It's actually a horrific disease and very damaging to many people. But it's a control thing. And so when you're talking to the school therapists, I think one good thing about what I'm hearing nationwide is, I know varies regionally.
Where I'm living, they've added two psychologists. We've added two to each school. They went on, and they did have some money. And they invested in the mental health, which is great. We're stoked, right? I just happen to know them very well.
But it's really important to think these kids are going to get more help, and they're going to be a lot more open to it because of COVID. So I don't care why the budgets opened up. But if you see that kid hoarding food, you don't just try to fix that. That's got to be passed down to the school psychologists.
Melissa Milner 25:45
Absolutely.
Matt Paxton 25:46
You can't do everything. You're a teacher. You've got a lot to do. Let that be every teacher's t-shirt, “You can't do everything.”
Melissa Milner 25:54
So what are you zooming in on right now?
25:59
[ZOOMING IN]
Matt Paxton 25:59
Work-wise?
Melissa Milner 26:00
Yes.
Matt Paxton 26:02
Balance. I'm really, really trying to relax more and find positivity in every day to day. And I know that sounds silly, you think I'm thinking about work. I'm actually trying to work less and hang out with my kids more. And so for me, I've had to learn how to say no to stuff. That's really hard. Because for me, it's an opportunity to make a difference every time I say yes, whether it's a national TV show or a podcast that has 100 listeners. I'm still like, well, I could help 100 people. That'd be awesome.
But man, I actually went through a divorce three years ago. And my ex wife and I have actually become really good friends. And one of the things she said to me, she said, you can't help your family if you're changing the world. And I was like, oh yeah. That was one of the reasons, huh?
Melissa Milner 26:50
It's that whole priorities thing.
Matt Paxton 26:51
Yeah, my priorities are really imbalanced. So that's what I'm working on. TV wise, I'm working a lot on Legacy List. I really enjoy the history that we're digging up in families.
Melissa Milner 27:01
Yeah, it's amazing.
Matt Paxton 27:03
It's really fun. It's really positive. I just really enjoy helping people find their life stories and helping them share it. Because I'm on TV, kids are willing to listen to their grandparents' stories now. I love that. And so I've tried to make my show, Legacy List, a little more kid friendly, so that it's inspiring kids. If you go to my website, mylegacylist.com and you subscribe to our email list, you get my Top 10 Conversation Starters for Your Grandparents.
Melissa Milner 27:34
That's awesome.
Matt Paxton 27:35
So it's 10 questions you need to ask your grandparents. And I've had a couple people call me. They're like, dude, we didn't even get through three. It was like a two hour conversation. I was like, I know. It's awesome.
Melissa Milner 27:44
I am so stealing those!
Matt Paxton 27:47
Yeah, do! Take them, pass them out. It's a PDF that you download and send it to everybody. It's so simple. It's so easy, and it's just a fun way to get people talking. For a lot of my clients, I've told them, pictures are kind of the biggest issue that we see. People have a really hard time getting rid of pictures. And so I have a lot of rules on how to let go pictures like landscapes and duplicates and things like that.
But what I've really enjoyed is I've got people taking a Ziploc gallon bag for every grandkid or kid you have. Take a Ziploc gallon bag or a plastic bag and put 10 pictures in it, but pictures from your whole life, not just recently. And write the story on the back of them. Then give them to the kids that Hanukkah or Christmas or whatever. And I'm telling you, man, throw some coins or something, it's basically a mini time capsule.
Melissa Milner 28:35
That's awesome.
Matt Paxton 28:36
And it's about your life. And we had grandparents call us back this year and they were like, my God, my kids, they loved it at Christmas. We went through each bag, and I told all the stories. And the reason I had is there was a lady on my very first episode of Legacy List. We found a picture of her, very attractive picture, knock out, gorgeous picture of this woman. And the skirt was way too short for the time in the world, right? And she's sitting next to this really handsome Spanish guy.
And I go, well, who is that? And she goes-- oh, what was his name? She goes, oh, that's Armando. She's an 83 year old lady, and her eyes just light up. She's like, oh, that's Armando. And, and her granddaughter's like, wow, wow, wow, wow. Who's Armando?
Or it's Fernando. So she goes, oh, that's Fernando. And her granddaughter's like, wow, wow, wow, wow. Who's Fernando? That's not grandpa. And she goes, you're damn right, that's not grandpa. And she got all excited. And then I got to watch this whole story unfold. And the grandma is telling the daughter and the granddaughter that she taught at college. They thought she was a student. Well, they didn't realize she was a grad student, and she taught there. And this was a guy that she had a torrid affair with.
And she was just so proud of it. And I'm just loving it. This was the moment this granddaughter realized her grandma was this complete, amazing, full, educated, incredible bad ass woman. And she just thinks she's the lady that sits in the corner and holds her purse, you know? And it was so awesome. So when you ask me what I'm doing, man, that's what I'm doing. I help people tell their stories. I love it. And so I'm finding the positive in this stuff now, not necessarily just the negative.
Melissa Milner 30:26
That's so great. How can people reach you and learn more about what you do? I mean, obviously, they could watch Hoarders.
Matt Paxton 30:33
Yeah, Hoarders is on all the time. It's on A&E. We've got Season 11 airing right now on A&E It's on Sunday mornings. It's on Netflix now, so you can just turn it on and watch all 11 years of it on Netflix. I look really skinny in the first couple seasons. Someone asked me if it was my little brother. I'm really young in them.
But then Legacy List is on PBS. You can watch it on demand. We're filming Season 2 right now. I'm very happy that we got a second season out of it. Social media, just one: @IAmMattPaxton. All of my handles are @IAmMattPaxton. And if you want those helpful conversation starters for seniors, it is mylegacylist.com. If you join the mailing list, mylegacylist.com, you'll get all the updates from us.
Melissa Milner 31:23
Great. And I'm also going to put it in the show notes on the podcast page on my website. So that'll be perfect. And I have one last question. I hope you thought about it, because it's the hardest question. What is your favorite movie, and why?
Matt Paxton 31:37
Favorite movie is Big Fish.
Melissa Milner 31:40
Oh, that's great.
Matt Paxton 31:41
About when the guy, his dad is dying of cancer, and he goes back and finds all his dad's stories. And my dad was a storyteller, man, and my life is that movie. At my dad's funeral-- it's been 20 years this year that my dad died. And it still drives my life. It's trauma for me.
But my dad was a really awesome, fun, crazy guy. And so his funeral was like that movie. All these people, all the stories my dad told me, they all showed up in this room. And here I am 20 years later, I'm friends with a lot of those people. And I had a lady just the other day, last year, 19 years after my dad died.
I was giving a speech in Colorado, and this lady-- and I live in Virginia. And this lady comes up, and she goes, I’ve got to ask you a question. Are you Ed Paxton's son? And I said, I am. Why? And she goes, you sashay across the stage, just like your dad did.
Melissa Milner 32:38
Oh my God!
Matt Paxton 32:39
And I like bawled, man. I lost it. I was like, thank you. And so for me, I love that movie.
Melissa Milner 32:46
I can't thank you enough. And I'm sure everybody who has listened to this is very grateful that you took the time out to come and talk to us.
Matt Paxton 32:54
Thank you. Hey, The Notebook is a strong second by the way.
Melissa Milner 32:57
You like the romantic comedies? Well, not romantic comedy, romantic.
Matt Paxton 33:00
Oh my god, I just love that movie. It's like, yes! I want a love like that. That's amazing. It's not realistic, but it's still a great movie. I love it.
Melissa Milner 33:09
In this interview, Matt provided us with practical ideas to help people who are dealing with trauma, as well as reminding us of the importance of hearing everyone's story. If you want to read more about the topics that Matt and I discussed, and find some resources, please read my latest blog post entitled The Teacher As... Extreme Cleaning Specialist, as well as a post I wrote on July 5th, entitled The Teacher As... Connector: Trauma, Noticing and Supporting All Students.
If you enjoyed this episode, and have not done so already, please hit the subscribe button for The Teacher As... podcast so you can get future episodes. I would love for you to leave a review and a rating, as well, if you have time. For my blog, transcripts of this episode and links to any resources mentioned, visit my website at www.theteacheras.com. You can reach me on Twitter and Instagram @melissabmilner. And I hope you check out The Teacher As... Facebook page for episode updates.
I am sending a special thanks to Linda and Lester Fleishman, my mom and dad, for being so supportive. They are the voices you hear in the Zooming In soundbite. And my dad composed and performed the background music you are listening to right now. My intro music was Upbeat Party by Scott Holmes.
So what are you zooming in on? I would love to hear from you. My hope is that we all share what we are doing in the classroom in order to teach, remind, affirm and inspire each other. Thanks for listening. And that's a wrap!